I like to think of myself has a “new-fashioned mom” (you know, not old fashioned), but when I read about this I just said, enough already! Coed sleepovers, are you serious?! If my kid ever comes to me and asks if he or she can have or attend a coed sleepover I have no idea what I exactly will come out of my mouth, but definitely not yes!
I have seen a bunch of articles on how this can work and to just make sure you set ground rules. Why do we even have to go there? What is the reason that a teen would need to have a coed sleepover?
From an article on Education.com by Amanda Morin, Losing Sleep Over Coed Sleepovers:
For many parents, there’s no discussion about it –coed sleepovers are out of the question. For other parents whose teens who are hosting and attending these boy-girl events, it’s merely a sign of the times, a natural extension of the ever-expanding platonic relationships between the sexes.
Is it really necessary for them to spend the whole night together? For what reason? Are parents becoming way too “okay” with things these days? What happened to morals?
Have you or will you allow your teen to attend or have a coed slumber party?
{ 34 comments }
Parents that are okay with this are too tired, overworked, too naive, and overly whined at to say otherwise. I don’t allow sleepovers unless they are with very close friends or family. Something else to go in my “world is going to hell in a handbasket” file!
No way, no how. I had girly sleepovers and that was IT growing up!
Abso-freakin-lutely NOT! WTH?! I think parents that allow this are basically trying to be their kids friend and not their parent! This is so ridiculous to me…
Platonic smatonic. I don’t believe that mess – kids shouldn’t be handed a situation like that. Just like those parents who let their teenagers drink since it’s at their house and they’re “supervising”.
Not gonna happen with our kids.
Oh HELL no! Are you kidding me!? This seriously makes me angry! Why do these people think kids are out of control? What parent in their right mind would host one of these?
bI have to say I agree with this. No way. But then my husband would freak out if our daughter even thought of attending anything like that.
Oh my goodness Dalia – you always make me think about how not ready I am for teenagers. I don’t think I would ever be comfortable with co-ed sleepovers. Plus, I remember girly sleepovers being the BEST bonding time – that whole dynamic would change, even if it were “platonic,” which I don’t buy…
Peryl
4 words – No. Way. In. Hell. If they want to do that, do it at college, but not on my watch!
I have a one year old, so these issues haven’t really come up yet for me. If my daughter ever asks me for a coed sleepover, the answer will be most definitely NO!
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Yeah, sure… there’s a reason for it, otherwise they couldn’t sell those condoms for 12 year olds. HA!
No Friggin Way, would I ever let my girls host/attend a co-ed sleepover. Call me old fashioned, but I’m not even nuts about co-ed parties. I was a teenage girl once, I know what is going through their heads, rather what’s not going through their heads (such as common sense). Hormones raging, flirting, being a tease and making a general fool of yourself. Not havin it!
Hell NO! And shame on any parents who pretend like it’s reasonable.
what world do these ppl live in? Maybe they are just unwilling to wait for grandkids.
Welcome to SITS!
Well, I’m going to go against the grain and say…ok, just kidding. No. However, I have to say that I did it when I was a teenager. How stupid were my parents? I went to Winter Ball with a bunch of people, then spent the night with everyone at a guys house. Of course I made it sound perfectly harmless. Supposedly his parents were chaperoning, but we didn’t see them all night. That was the first time I got so trashed that I threw up all night. I was 16. I’m just lucky the guys were nice and didn’t take advantage of me…..
We would let my step son spend the night at the neighbors house (who hasd 2 little girls) when he was 5/6 years old and tthey were all best friends. There is no way we would let him do it now that he is older, that is just asking for trouble.
When I was a kid, we would have a co-ed party, but the girls spent the night, and the guys had to go home around 9 or 10.
This is why kids are out of control these days.
Absolutely not. I’m all for fostering “platonic” relationships between the sexes, but are parents really that amnesic about their own teenage-dom?
There is NO WAY that my daughter would be spending the night at a co-ed sleepover…..
It’s no wonder there is so much SEX in the world right now! Are you kidding me? What ever happened to ‘girly-girl’ sleepovers where we use to watch movies, paint each others toe nails, eat ice cream, have pillow fights, make crank calls and play ‘light as a feather’ ????
Are those days gone?
These aren’t new. Went to a million of them when I was younger (I’ll be 41) in May. If memory serves we started around age 15 or 16.
You are fooling yourselves if you think that your teenage sons/daughters aren’t finding opportunities to spend quiet time together.
It is not the same thing as serving alcohol to minors or providing them with drugs.
Hi there – thanks for your comment on my latest blog post. You have an interesting blog here with some thought provoking articles. As my daughter is only three I have not thought about coed sleepovers and such issues but I can tell you my husband is already there, worrying about it all and has told me he intends on following our daughter on every date, just to make sure she is OK…..so I already know what his thoughts will be on the topic of coed sleepovers i.e. no way!!!
Wow. My kids are still young, but this one floored me. Nope, I don’t see that happening.
Hell. No.
And I am now locking my child up until he’s 50.
I had coed sleepovers growing up. Two of my best friends were boys, so it was natural to want them around. My mom would check on us throughout the night and separate the boys from the girls at “bedtime.”
What’s crazy is that nothing ever happened at this “sanctioned” sleepovers. Boyfriends were never allowed to stay, but things did happen with them.
Nope, not ever will I allow this! The parents who say yes just don’t care or don’t want to take the time to care. They are busy being a friend to their child instead of parenting. I look at some of the facebook pages of my sons’ classmates and I am appalled at the pictures and language they put up. Obviously their parents are not monitoring those pages. Morals have flown out the window.
I have a big conflict between the lily white life I’d like to have for my daughter and the stuff I did as a teen. I was a really good girl, but I once ended up at a slumber party where the girls snuck a drunk boy in through the window. The rush of having him there was enough, no one DID anything with him. I think it would have been better for the parents to sanction his inclusion rather than have someone fall down drunk in their house. I just don’t know what to do.
Anyway, I mentioned you in my Beautfiful Bloggers post today!
I came over from Joey’s blog (Big Teeth & Clouds)….
I had a co-ed slumber part when I was about 14. It was for New Year’s Eve. There were only 6 of us total. My mom’s thinking was that she’d rather have us under her own roof and monitor what we were doing than out on the town doing God knows what. We were a close-knit group and there really was not any hanky panky. I was kind of a nerdy girl, and I think she knew she could trust me to behave and to keep my friend in check (but there was really no need). The guys bunked in with my brothers and the girls slept in my room with me. We got up and made pancakes the next morning…it was fun.
I can’t say if I would let my own kids do this when they’re older (I have twin girls that are 4). Have to see how they turn out over the next few years…
Oy. I see I’m in the minority! Oh well.
Don’t hate me!
I don’t have kids yet, but if that topic is ever brought up to me, I will say hell no.
I don’t want to be a young grandmother!
I am all too aware of this. I think it is a sign of the horrible parenting of our time. People are crazy! Are they forgetting what those hormones do to teens?
Well…my sister’s best friend growing up was a boy. He was obviously not into girls and so both sets of parents let them have sleepovers. So, I can see coed in that type of instance. Otherwise? I don’t think so…
NO WAY IN HELL!!! What, are they nuts? How about that quote about today’s “ever-more platonic boy-girl relationships”…huh??? Don’t these people read about the trends in sex without love among teens, “friends with benefits”?
Besides, the fun of sleepovers is getting silly with your buds!
Sue
well sorry to say this is not a ‘new’ trend, just definitely not a common one.Back in grade school (5th or 6th grade?)i was invited to one – she invited the whole class, girls & boys. needless to say i did not get to go. From what i heard on Monday of what went on – in today’s times her parents (especially the dad) would probably have been thrown in jail for molestation or intent or something!
NO, I do not approve of coed sleepovers.
And regarding morals, you can’t teach what you don’t know.
well being a teen myself, i must say that parents are so nieve in general. Not to be disrespectful in any manner but If your really concerned about your daughter or son having sex in your house during a co-ed sleepover, its that you dont trust your son or your daughter, and believe it or not sex can happen at 3 in the afternoon or 3 in the morning. with them asking you have the assurance that your son or daughter isnt going behind your back. and you may think im just saying this because its my personal opinion, but you must be over sheltering your kids. and my mom does that and from my perspective it only makes you want to sneak around. plus our generation still has some respect, and they definetly wouldnt have sex in your house with you there or hopefully in general. It is so disrespectful for you as a parent to call another parent who has trust in their teen a awful parent. not trusting your teen makes you the awful parent. so obliviously they are doing someting right and you should probably learn from them.
I work for Education.com (ours is the quoted article) but I have to say as a mom I can’t imagine that I’d allow my two boys to attend a co-ed sleepover as teens (they’re 5 & 7 now). I totally get that “if teens want to have sex they’re going to find a way to do it” but I think encouraging / allowing them to sleep together could easily lead to unplanned casual sexual experiences. Kind of like how I know if there’s chocolate ice cream in the freezer I’m going to eat it! If I’m desperate for ice cream I’ll find a way to get some – and that’s ok with me – but if it’s just hanging out in my freezer I end up eating it kind of accidentally – not ok.