Grinding, what am I referring to? The new way of dancing in schools. Yup, your teens and tweens are doing it. They are grinding! They are rubbing their pelvises together in a sexually suggestive manner in all kinds of ways. That is the new way of dancing at schools across the nation. It is called freak dancing. Now, I realize grinding isn’t new. Remember Dirty Dancing? But, this is how our kids dance now. This is ‘the’ way of dancing now. Apparently some schools are canceling dances because of it. Schools are actually having kids sign a dance contract!
Thinking back to our middle school dances, I recall there being a bunch of girls in a circle bee-bopping away. I can’t imagine even seeing such a thing as grinding back then. I think there were maybe two guys on the floor at all. Why do teens have such sexual behavior in today’s world? Why are they so comfortable with each other? Is this something we should be worried about or should we pick our battles and leave this one alone?
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At my childrens schools Parents are still chaparones. Any grinding is reason to be removed from the dance. Same sex friends with benefits seem to be a growing normal thing between our children. I can not tell you why because I dont have a clue. As girls in my day we wouldn’t have dreamed of even touching ourselves in public if we had panty problem and any boy caught doing such a thing unless on the football field or something like that was considered gross and I was teen during the 1980′s. What happened in the mean time to make this stuff okay?
Both of my daughters are in HS and they don’t go to the dances – for this very reason. Occasionally my younger daughter will go with a group of girl friends and they form a “circle of protection” and dance. As soon as a boy comes by and tries to “grind” with them, they disperse. Apparently, the grinding is not just couples. It’s any boy with any girl. Yuck!
This was pretty big when I was in high school. We had some rather slutty dancers. I also remember a dance during the first week of my freshman year of college where there was quite a bit of “grinding” that was random and unsolicited. We wore white shirts so people could sign them. Some guy circled my breast with his marker. I was 17, but I had enough self esteem and self worth to not get myself too worked up over that stuff.
I think our best work as parents will be to give our children good decision making skills and foster their self esteem so they don’t do stupid stuff even if the rest of the world is grinding away.
I’m moving to a farm with no signs of life for a minimum of 500 acres completely surrounding us.
This never happened way back when. When I went to dances, the boys all stood on one side of the room and the girls on the other. Sometimes a couple would emerge and do an awkward high school sway. The end.
I am not looking forward to the teen years. Not at all.
Things have come so far from when we were teens. Everything is out in the open. Makes me wonder what do they do when people aren’t there?
I remember being 14 years old riding with my boyfriend in the backseat of my father’s car and we didn’t even dare hold hands! And it wasn’t because anyone had told me not to. I just didn’t feel right.
Oh no. Another thing for me to worry about. I am scared to think what it’s going to be like when my 4 year old is in high school.
The sexualization of society is definitely something we should be worried about. Sex, it’s just everywhere. What are we teaching our kids then?
This is one of the times I’m glad my girls hang out with the strange kids and wouldn’t dream of dancing. Mine find grinding very embarrassing. I think that kids are exposed to so much nowadays it is hard to convince them that the behavior is inappropriate & degrading. To them it is just dancing. I remember when Mtv was music & parents were concerned by the dancing in the videos. Now it is full of raunchy behavior & they don’t even bother to set it to music. You should talk about it but be aware that you are up against a huge influencial machine.
I remember the circle of girls and the boys taking all night to get the courage to ask us to dance and then keeping each other at arms length. What the hell is going on these days? I’m not THAT old! My girls go to school dances, but they aren’t like ours were. They are only 2 hours long, held in the well lit cafeteria immediately after school with little to no decoration and nearly every teacher and some parents looking on. I’m sure this is inpart because the behavior you describe. I’d sad that our kids are missing out on the found memories that we have of HS dances.
I graduated in the early 80′s and wow what a strange new land my teenage kids are living in. Things certainly have changed – and I’m not thinking for the better. I’m still in shock that anyone would want to walk around with the waistbands of their jeans UNDER their behinds! Why?
It wasn’t too long ago I was in high school and it was a shock to me then that kids were doing this. Even junior high kids.People can say what they want but most times this kind of dancing leads to other things.I mean basicly they are just dry humping with clothes on.It’s sad.
I know! Things are getting way out of control with sexuality and our kids! When I was in high school all of my friends were having sex, and I actually ended up pregnant at 18. Now it is so much worse! All this sexuality is starting in middle school, now! My aunt’s kids’ school took the bathroom doors off the stalls in the middle school because there was so much oral sex happening in the bathroom. Can you imagine??
This is actually a big reason that I’ve started reading teen fiction. I’m screening the sexual content in the books before I let my daughter (15) read them. I think it really opens your eyes to what teens are doing, too. And even if they’re not doing it, they sure are reading about it, and seeing it on movies and tv (but I think the books are worse, at least the movies and tv shows are rated).
Anyway, it’s a scary thing to send your teens out into the midst of all this and say “Good Luck! I know your surrounded by it, but don’t do it!”
Yikes!
During the 1960′s grinding was part of our school dances. It’s amazing to hear the term again, and listen now to my children, speaking of their children, and how they dance! Love it!
Hi, stopping by from SITS. i just missed generation X, and am officially a baby boomer (born in ’62). I blame all this sexual thinking on television and the advertising industry. sex sells. And the majority of people are either not able to monitor what their kids watch or simply allow them to watch whatever, whenever. i was always the mean mom cause i didn’t allow my kids to watch shows like friends. yet we watched MTV frequently – not as bad back then as it is now, yet Madonna was a frequent player and i would have to run to turn it off when Like a Virgen and other similar would come on. my sister home schools her kids and keeps a tight rein on what is watched on tv/movies. i don’t see that as the answer either as her kids are lacking in social skills. how will they cope with the real world when they are older – will it be too much of a culture shock for them?