I don’t know if it is just that I am getting older or maybe it is the paranoid mom factor coming out, but all of a sudden 16 just seems way to young to be driving.
I remember being 16. I felt old enough. I felt in control. I didn’t feel too young.
I also remember not being allowed to ride in cars with other teens. This was huge, although I didn’t quite understand it at the time. But, the rules were no riding in other friend’s cars and no filling my car with a bunch of friends.
Now, coming from a mom’s standpoint, I understand. My son is starting to creep into these situations. Seriously, who would have thought. Just yesterday I was concerned about his riding his bike through the neighborhood and now I am thinking about him getting in a car to go god knows where. My nephew will be 16 this month. He and my son are close and hang out often. I already told him flat out he will not be taking my son in the car.
There are actual studies saying that the risk of death doubles when riding with a teen driver. We all know how teen’s brains are still developing. They don’t realize the seriousness sometimes in situations. Many think they live in a bubble and ‘it is not going to happen to me’.
Of course just like anything else, there are many types of teens. Responsible teens, irresponsible teens, and those teens that can go either way. I still dread seeing my kids ride away on the bus, and to think these days of cars are not far away.
Is restricting kids to ride in other teen’s cars too much? With most everything else I feel moderation is key and restricting sets teens up for rebelling. Is it feasible to pick and choose who your teen rides with?
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
I think that who and how many people are allowed to ride in a car driven by a teen are both very important things to consider, and I think more parents should regulate aspects like that.
.-= liz´s last blog ..Warning- Birthday Approaching =-.
I got my license when I was 16 and so did my son. However, my daughter will be 16 in the fall and I really don’t think she’s ready. She’s just not showing me that she can handle the responsibility. All kids are different. Setting up the restrictions on who they can ride with is a good idea but how do we reinforce it?
.-= chele´s last blog ..Overheard at the Kingdom =-.
My brother just turned 16 yesterday and is going to get his license today. I think he is responsible enough to handle it, but then I look at some of his friends and it scares me. Some of those kids are reckless morons!
I really think it does depend on the kid. I didn’t get my license until I was 20, but that was mostly because I was really lazy.
.-= Salt´s last blog ..Dear Comcast I hate you =-.
The laws are different here in California, more restrictive than in other parts of the country.
You can get a provisional permit from 15 1/2 to 17 1/2. You have to pass a written and practical driving test. You may not drive in a car alone. You must have a licensed adult over 25 or parent or guardian with you, seated in a position that they can gain control of the car in an emergency. At 18 you can obtain a standard license.
Given these rather draconian restrictions I don’t think I have much to worry about accept finding the time to always be in the car with my teen. Buy my kids are quite young so who knows, by that time they may not let them drive till they’re 21!!!;-)
.-= J. Is a Bird´s last blog ..The Los Angeles Zoo =-.
Again, Dalia, I feel as if you’ve been sitting at our dinner table. We were discussing this Friday night. Especially in rural towns, with LOOOOOOONG stretches of roads. No one stops. No one.
16 is much too young to drive. Much too young. We had 2 awful accidents last summer on the corner of our subdivision… both male teenage drivers. One 17 yr old was killed.
In the summer, with the warmth, and the joy of no school, and a good song on the radio, and a road that stretches before you, I know the temptation to just fly with the gas pedal is too great. Add in the impulsive, hormonal nature of a 16 yr old brain, and there you go….
I would say it depends on the teen and their character. Like you said, not all teens are created equal. Some are responsible and some are not. Regardless, studies have shown that most teens feel they are immune from the consequences of reckless driving and they are impulsively driven.
It’s completely rational that as a mother you’re hesitant to send your children into the car of a novice driver. Maybe after another year or two of driving experience you’ll feel more comfortable.
I see both sides. I see the logic behind a worried mother who understands the stats that majority of accidents in this country are teen drivers. However, I also remember my teenage years, which weren’t too long ago and I know I would have put up a bratty teenage fuss if my parents forbade me to get a ride from a friend.
It’s a tough call.
.-= JoJo´s last blog ..Eclipse Comes Out On Wednesday =-.
From the moment I read the title I was thinking, “NO NO NO”! Basically my very negative reaction to anyone suggesting that my daughter will someday be old enough to drive. She’s going to stay my little lovey buddy forever. Thank you very much.
For you poor souls with children that will grow up, I think it’s entirely reasonable to limit the number of people in the car. Enforcing that is probably a different matter.
.-= Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds´s last blog ..The sweetest thing =-.
Can you let me know how you handle this one so I’ll be ready when my son turns 16? Honestly, I don’t know what I’ll do…teenagers get all crazy when they’re in a group don’t they? Or am I just being prejudice?
.-= Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last blog ..Toys Are For Sharing and Hands Are For Holding =-.
It is very scary. Hell, I’m scared to go out on the road sometimes because of the teen drivers let alone my teen be in the car with one or BE ONE. All you can do is set rules in place for them not to be with other teen drivers and not to let him have his friends in the car with him.
Our state instituted new laws shortly after I turned 18 (I didn’t get my license until I was 18) where teens have certain limitations every year. At 16 you have to have “had a permit for 180 days prior to your license, passengers are limited to siblings that are being transported to or from home to school or 1 passenger unless there is a licensed driver that is a minimum of 21 years of age in the vehicle, and are restricted from driving between the hours of 11:00 PM and 6:00 AM”. I think that’s a pretty good law to start out with at 16 – they then get more privilages when the turn 17 and their full license at 18 if they don’t have any accidents or tickets…
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What a time to read this! Our daughter is 16 and isn’t really driving yet (she’s a reluctant learner), but a lot of her other friends in her group have their licenses. I trust these girls because I know their parents (and they are VERY FIRM parents) so I let our girl drive with these girls, but all the same I make her text me when she reaches her destination or call me. It’s a tricky topic: I want our daughter to learn to drive, but at the same time I really don’t want her to be out on the streets with the rest of the crazy traffic. I think that parents should just follow their intuition on this one and trust in their child and in their friends.
My daughter just turned 16. I feel your pain!!
She hasn’t passed her test yet, but I am glad Texas law says no more than ONE other passenger under 21 in the car until 18. I also fear her practice driving if we have the younger kids in the car. She has a half brother and two future step sisters.
It’s tricky and YES way to young to be driving. I think they should change the age to 18!
.-= Angelia Sims´s last blog ..Shy Baby Chubba Cheeks =-.
No way.. 16 is definitely too young to handle driving. I think teens must not be given that kind of freedom early in their lives. Maybe when they reach 18, you can give it a try. But at 16, adult supervision is needed.
.-= Hailey´s last blog ..Being the Middle Child =-.
This is a tough question: My son is 13-1/2 and I can see driving on the horizon. But here’s a story:
In Kansas, when I was in high school, we could drive alone to and from school (or work) at the age of 14 . Of course, everyone just drove everywhere they wanted anyway. My parents got me my first car a week before I went into high school.
The first day of high school, I TOTALED it by running into a parked semi because I was trying to avoid my house while “dragging” main and turned onto a gravel road going 20 mph. I wasn’t allowed to drive for two years after that.
I think it depends on the kid and their maturity level, but until someone is 18 (or, if they’re an immature boy, 30), driving should be limited and monitored closely.
I miss that first car. Sigh.
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..Cucumbers and Eyes – A Journey into Understanding =-.
OMG!!! I was just having this conversation with a friend of mine the other night. Up here in MA the law is you cannot have other teens in the car with you until age 18 I believe. I am totally, totally fine with that. My daugther is 15 so that will be the big issue next year. Though I’m thinking of getting her the book this year so she can start reading it. I too will be very nervous. We didn’t have the distractions that kids have now. Loud music, cell phones, GPS systems, etc. Too much distraction. Once she does start driving I’m only going to have her go to school and back and that’s it. Little by little I’ll work in the rest. You are not be over cautious at all. You are being a loving, concerned Mom. Nice to meet you by the way. You have a new follower now.
My niece is 16, and she just got her license a couple of months ago. She is an awful driver! I have flat out told my sister-in-law that my niece is not allowed to drive with my 5yo and 2yo in the car! I really think another year would make a huge difference in her driving.
My nephew is 19, and he’s a good driver…but he’s careless. He has gotten several traffic tickets…and his parents have paid for every single one! How is he going to learn to stop driving recklessly if he doesn’t have to pay the consequences? I hope when it’s my turn to have teen-aged drivers that I am a good parent!
.-= Ginny Marie´s last blog ..Where in the World Bear Lake and Alberta Falls =-.
No, it is not too much. Statistics show that kids who drive with other kids are at a higher risk of suffering injury than kids who don’t. Let ‘em wait to drive with friends. My kids did. Perfectly reasonable.
I can’t even think about my kids driving cars yet. I’m just worried about them putting on their helmets before they get on their bicycles with training wheels.
I remember driving at 16 and not being able to drive with others in my car either, and then just one other person. It’s scarey and I know that when my children start to drive, my heart with be out there with them! UGH!
.-= Danielle´s last blog ..Thursday Thirteen- Not Phased =-.
My son is 16 and just got his license. You all are not making me feel better. I have posted a discussion question on this topic at my Blogfrog Community. I am trying to remember what it was like when I started to drive by myself.
I had one turn 16 in December and he still doesn’t have his license. And yes, I do restrict who and when my kids can ride with. I think we just have to.
.-= debbie´s last blog ..Guilty Pleasure =-.
In NY, we drove at 16. I had lots of rules to follow, and I did. I was allowed in any friend’s car, my parents trusted them since I was a good kid who did not do drugs, alcohol or anything else I shouldn’t have.
My daughter is 15…yes 16 is too young! She isn;t even allowed to date yet! And I have already told her no car dates until she is 17!
I think I am going to be more overprotective, only because we did not have the distraction of cell phonees and texting while driving.
.-= mommymommymommy´s last blog ..Skillet Lasagne in a Jiffy =-.
I’m with you on teens not riding around with other teens. I know I will be freaked when my boys start driving at 16, but I hope that I can be chill enough to help them learn and drive around with them so they get experience. But as far as going around in cars with friends, I’m thinking no right now. Maybe with certain friends if I think they are very responsible…?
I’m terrified too. My kids are 19 and 17 and they are often out with friends who I know have been drinking. We insist that our son sleep overnight at the friends if his ride has been drinking. When our son has a staff party at our house recently, we insisted that the kids stay overnight if they were drinking.
Ontario law has recently changed so that any driver under 21 yrs who has had a single drop of alcohol will be fined! Very strict but probably wise.