Comments on: The “parent check” – do you do it?

By: mommymommymommy

mommymommymommy — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 13:05:53 +0000

Parent check? ABSOLUTELY!!!

Just two days ago, my 15 y/o wanted to go to a swim party after dinner with her camp and BBYO friends. I knew most of the kdis going, but not the house of the boy. I told DD to not only ask if the parents would be hone, but to tell the boy I was going to the front door to meet them!

And of course, you must ALWAYS get the landline number!

My daughter wound up too tired to go. But she knows the drill and is no longer bugged by it.

For all of you mommies not there yet, plant the seeds NOW! Tell them your rules so there are no surprises in the future, It is just the same message repeated over and over and over unitl it is in their brain!

By: Kelly

Kelly — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 19:06:07 +0000

I am not at this stage yet, but I will be a checker. A serious, potentially-embarrassing-but-they'll-get-over-it checker! .-= Kelly´s last blog ..The King =-.

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:22:01 +0000

here comes the hatemail, but I call it “lazy parenting.”

I get out of the car, and I go in, and I see with my eyes who’s there.

I don’t care, I work with all teenagers AND I HEAR WHAT THEY DO.

I can email you details of conversations every day….

By: Angelia Sims

Angelia Sims — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 05:19:35 +0000

I have to admit. I am bad about not doing this anymore. I guess my thinking is…she is two years from 18. How much more control am I really going to have? When do you let go? I have friend with a 20yr old that still does the parent check and she is freaking out her daughter is going to college 4 hours away this fall and she won’t know what she is doing or where she is or with who. I just don’t want to be that bad.

The last “guy” friend of my daughter’s I didn’t meet him or his parents. I did check out all their profiles on Facebook. Then I had her text me a pic of her with his brother from her iPhone. You know, kinda like the where are you and who is there? Yeah…well send me a pic then.
It worked nicely. Maybe I am a lazy parent, or just trying to stay on the learning curve.
.-= Angelia Sims´s last blog ..The Cross Dressing Elvis makes a Move =-.

By: Sue Jackson

Sue Jackson — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 21:03:10 +0000

I’m with you on all counts! We weren’t sure how to handle it at first either, but I do think it’s important to meet the parents (and make sure they’re there!). Definitely not all parents have the same approach. My 15-year old hosted a game night (boys and girls) last week and a couple of kids were just dropped off. Most of them we already knew, but I made a point to introduce myself to the ones we didn’t – the kids AND the parents!

On the other hand, my 12-year old slept over at a friend’s house last week with several other boys, and the mom just went off to work in the morning and left them alone! I trust my son but not a whole group of 12-year old boys. Fortunately, my son was so exhausted, he called me to pick him up at 8 am anyway (we have known this family for years but I didn’t know the mom wouldn’t be there in the morning), and the other boys were all still half asleep.

Embarrassing or not, we’ll continue to introduce ourselves!

Sue

By: Nicole @ Help! Mama Remote...

Nicole @ Help! Mama Remote... — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 20:06:44 +0000

Great topic. This has happened a couple times but not often. I also think we should be a little more careful because ow with our children using their cell phones we have really lost connection of who their friends are. This is one reason I hate my child having a cell phone.

By: ZippyChix4

ZippyChix4 — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 11:59:21 +0000

I just let my son (13) know right off the bat that if he is going to a house of a parent that I do not know, that I will have to meet them. It happened recently and I had prepped him that he needed tell this new friend that when we came over that I would be getting out of the car and meeting the mom. He hangs with a group of kids whose parents I know well, so I have not had to do this too often. With my other child (17) who is going to college now, it seemed that at about 15 she told me that people do not do this anymore. As she was the youngest in her class and all of the others were driving.....I can believe this. I tried to respect her judgement and luckily all went well. She stayed out of any trouble and would even opt not to go to some parties to avoid it. Guess I got lucky on that one:) .-= ZippyChix4´s last blog ..The Gender Gap =-.

By: Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)

Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 04:20:14 +0000

Though I'm not there yet, I'm pretty sure I would do what you do. I can't imagine not knowing who my kids were hanging out with especially not knowing the parents of the house they will be in. I would definitely want to know. Honestly, these days I think parents need to be more vigilant. .-= Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last blog ..Dealing With Your Daily Dose of Mommy Guilt =-.

By: amber

amber — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:24:07 +0000

You’re not paranoid – just a good mom! I totally intend to be the same way when Tori gets to that age…but first, we have to master the playdate!
.-= amber´s last blog ..A Running Conversation =-.

By: Tina @ Life Without Pink

Tina @ Life Without Pink — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:06:24 +0000

My boys are too young for this but I think I will be overprotective of them for sure. I am going to be super nervous when I don’t know the parents because you never know how they parent or what goes on behind closed doors. UGH I am dreading this!