Chilling out by the pool today doing some mom-to-mom chat….when all of a sudden, HYPER-PARENT ALERT. Helicopter coming down, watch out hovering happening.
First let me say, MY son has a nut allergy. It is an unfortunate thing and a real pain in the butt, however I clearly realize not everyone has been struck with this lousy fortune. Why should Tyler, Megan, or Jennifer suffer if they DON”T have the allergy?
That is exactly what some moms seem to think. I guess, if their kid has to suffer, then they all do.
In my daughter’s preschool last year we had a couple of kids with nut allergies. All lunches and snacks needed to be nut free. Let me tell you, it was a challenge to avoid the simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich on those last-minute days, but we managed. I went with it giving the school the benefit of the doubt since the preschool kids ate lunch in their classroom.
BUT, here we were today talking about grade school. Moms are calling the school requesting the public grade school become a nut-free school. Helicopter beginning to hover. REALLY? Now, come on. Let’s get serious here. If we forbid all kids to bring nuts to school we are basically teaching these kids with nut allergies nothing. We are putting them in danger when they are NOT in school because guess what, there are nuts out there. Then what?
My son has been taught from day one that he cannot have any nuts. He was taught to always ask before eating something. He was taught very early on to always read the ingredients and if he cannot read the ingredients, DO NOT EAT IT. He was taught to not trust that someone is correct in saying there are not nuts in something unless he can check for himself. Before he could read, he knew what TREE NUTS looked like in print. Of course with young children, the teacher and school should be aware. But they should be teaching and guiding them, not the other kids. Keeping all nuts from the school in my mind is not teaching them. Maybe it is teaching them to rely on people when they clearly should not. But that is about it.
What do you think? Should all schools become nut free?
By the way….check out my post featured on Mamapedia today about Teens Dating in Today’s World. 
{ 30 comments }
that’s just ridiculous. maddie has food issues that are very limiting to what she can eat, and i would never in a million years expect those around her to not eat foods that she wouldn’t be able to eat herself.
.-= liz´s last blog ..Part of His Charm =-.
1) son has egg allergy. Knew from early age, “I can’t have that, has eggs.” Still follows that. Now reads ingredients on salad dressings and dips to be sure it is egg-free.
2) young child in swim class has nut allergy. Mom reminds him, “Now, if there’s a treat on the last day, make sure there aren’t nuts. If there are, just tell them ‘Sorry, I can’t have that.’” Boy nods in accordance, and follows mom’s instructions to the letter on last day of class. Boy’s younger sibling eats peanut-butter cup while boy shrieks dramatically and races to other end of pavilion, way from sibling.
3) at old elementary school, daughter’s classmate eats lunch daily in office. Secretary assures me student is not a juvenile delinquent in the making, but has severe nut allergy. Student eats in office, with person of her choosing, to avoid nuts in cafeteria.
4) at nephew’s school, snacks and birthday treats come from a list made ahead of time by teacher – nothing home made, and foods are ‘pre-approved’ and pre-wrapped items that are, presumably, free of allergy-inducing ingredients.
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..Fashionistas- Parents- and Tweens- Unite! =-.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dalia!
I have wanted to post on this topic for months, but felt that I would get slammed big time. Coming from you, however, who has a child with a nut allergy, it has so much more impact.
My daughter’s preschool went entirely nut-free last year. It wasn’t just no peanut butter or cashews. It was, “anything made or processed on equipment that manufactures nuts” was banned. I was exasperated. My kid doesn’t have an allergy, but doesn’t eat that many things…this meant she got the same 2 or 3 snack items in her lunch nearly every day.
I agree that this is helicoptering. The kids at my son’s school seem very capable of identifying what they can and cannot eat. no problem. They stay away from the kids eating peanut butter. no problem. We do try and avoid allergens on party days. No problem. The KIDS own their condition and live with it and manage and do okay.
I totally agree that to insulate kids from their allergy only serves to poorly prepare them for the Real World, where no one is going to give a crap about their peanut allergy. I hate to say it, but it’s true.
.-= gigi´s last blog ..Join Me Thursday for a Twitter Chat =-.
No, no, NO!
Things like this make me so incredibly angry, I can’t even see straight.
This would be on par with me, as a type-1 diabetic, having my mother say, “I’d appreciate it if no one brought any food in with too much sugar, or had birthday cupcakes, or drank regular soda, because it could make Sarah sick.”
People need to learn to adapt and to realize that the world does NOT revolve around them and their children.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..The One With the Irritating Things =-.
As long as I’m allowed on school premises, schools will never be completely nut free.
Actually, now that I read that aloud, and being a guy, that could probably be misconstrued. Oh well.
But to hear this from a parent of a kid with allergies is refreshing.
.-= Pop´s last blog ..Merciful Monday- 8910 =-.
Oh, this is a toughie. I too have an allergy kiddo – my seven-year-old has a severe peanut allergy. I have mixed feelings. I totally support daycare and preschools having rules in place to protect the younger ones who cannot communicate nor understand. That being said, during those years, I never, ever expected a parent to change a birthday treat or snack – I just asked in advance so that I could make something for my son that would match as closely to the other kids. Most parents were great. Some thought I was overprotective. Whatever. It’s not their kid who could die, I get it.
However, once they reach the public school system, K and up, it is up to the parents to teach the child to protect themselves. I did this just for peace of mind – for both of us.
Childhood is full of difficult experiences that makes all kids feel like outsiders at one point or another. Food now seems to be the newest way to divide and conquer. I totally agree, it’s completely the parents’ responsibility to teach the child to adapt to the outside world. But a food allergy friend might be an excellent time to teach other kids that everyone has “something,” you know?
I did have a good ironic giggle when I signed up son for kindergarten – the principal and school nurse were awesome with the whole plan/epi pen, etc. should oldest happen to get exposed. So reassuring that they do all they can to protect food allergy kids. Then we went out to the playground to have some fun – which just happens to be shaded by a massive 100+-year-old pecan tree – pecans all over the damn place. We aren’t tree nut, but wondered how parents would feel about their tree nut kids rolling around in pecan shells during recess.
.-= ash´s last blog ..Parents of children under four not admitted =-.
You know as my son is entering school this September – this is something i have thought a lot about. OUr school has asked that we supply nut free lunches — thing is – we have Celiac Disease – gluten is NOT tolerated well at all here … yet my son will have to be surrounded by it because asking parents to supply gluten (wheat, barley, rye & oat) free lunches would be met with a lynch mob. Yes, he will not go into anaphylactic shock but is is a HUGE medical concern that will keep him out of school for weeks and there is no epi pen type medication that could protect him.
Difficult on either side really…
.-= Devan @ Accustomed Chaos´s last blog ..Back Home From NYC & BlogHer10- My Recap =-.
This is a tough one. I can understand preschools and kindergarten classes having peanut and nut free policies but you’re right as they get older they need to be more responsible for what they are eating.
That being said, I have close friends with children who have peanut allergy and having that rule in place gives them peace of mind. They still educate their children but I think knowing that their exposure may be limited lets them relax a little when they’re not in their care. I don’t know, is it a false sense of security?
I don’t have a child with a food allergy but I wonder if I would fall into the hovering type especially when they’re young. You have a child with nut allergy so your view does have a lot of impact.
I think I’m in favor of nut free for preschool and kindergarten classes where there are children with a known allergy. Making schools nut free? If it were my kid…I’d probably say yes. It’s one thing to have an intolerance to something but a known allergy that could be life threatening? It just seems nicer to avoid those things within the classrooms. Yes, they will be exposed wherever they go, but isn’t it just nicer to make the place we send them everyday as safe as possible? It doesn’t take the place of educating the child, it’s just an added measure.
I really didn’t view it as a big issue, sending my child to school with nut free lunches. Okay, so he gets the same thing every day. When he gets home, he gets to eat whatever he wants.
.-= Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last blog ..Monday Morning Mamas =-.
My kid is almost 3. Has known about his peanut allergy since 1. The daycare is nut free and because of their age, I am thankful we don’t have to worry about a mishap there. But even now he’s aware he can’t have them, he’s allergic, and he’ll get sick. I chose the daycare because they were nut free. Public schools? By that age the kid should be even more aware of his own needs and. Will he have to sit at the nut free table? Yep. But we’ve already dealt with reactions and its not worth the risk.
I do get selfish on airplanes. I call ahead and ask them not to serve peanuts. People can deal without free nuts for a few hours, and be thankful they have the ability to breathe free every day of their lives.
I often wonder why they still serve peanuts on airplanes. With all the hype about peanut allergies it just seems unreal that they still do. They remove them from schools but not a crowded small plane, really?
Well my stepsom is allergic to shellfish (not like they serve up a lot of shrimp in school anyway) and pitted fruit. So while we are at it, I want a ban on all that stuff too! No peaches, no plums, no cherries!!
This is the biggest load of crap I have heard. A lot of people are allergic to *something* and we can’t make the whole freaking world hypo-allergenic. I can MAYBE understand keeping nuts out of the class room. But if a kid is so sensitive that they have an allergic reaction just because the nut particles are in the air, then keeping nuts out of school isn’t going to save them, because as soon as they walk down the street the could have a reaction.
Maybe their should be a nut free lunch room, or a lunch room for people with nuts in their lunch to eat it…. But we wouldn’t want to discriminate or anything either. Sigh.
We haven’t experience this first hand, but at my daughter’s 1st school (kindergarten and first grade) they wouldn’t allow anything “home made”. Everything had to be purchased/wrapped listing the ingredients. I think that’s a happy medium… I mean it’s a pain, but sometimes I’m scared to eat something someone else made…
.-= Momma Drama´s last blog ..First Day of School and Birthdays =-.
This is a tricky issue for everyone involved I think. I completely agree with you, Dalia, that children need to learn to be responsible and that we shouldn’t all have to be nut-free because some kids have allergies. And I am so with you on the helicopter parenting. It has gotten to a crazy level these days. But re: the nut issue I have heard of children having such severe peanut allergies that they can have a reaction to airborne particles. I wonder if that is why some schools are going nut-free? I don’t know.
The thing that worries me is why children (and grownups for that matter) are having so many more allergies these days. Is it just that we are being diagnosed better or something more? I never remember so many people having trouble with allergies when we were kids. In fact it was such an unusual concept that I had to explain it to several of my friends when I was diagnosed with certain allergies. I’d love to hear what you think about this topic, Dalia!! Maybe you can write a post on it one of these days?
PC gone mad, I say. Preschool??? Sure, abn it! Kids are young, they may not understand; lets give them the benefit of the doubt!
But at big-kid school? Where they are learning to read and write? They need to be able to distinguish what is safe for themselves.
And most kids with allergies DO just that at a very young age, in my experience.
At our school, kids in the new entrants are requested not to bring peanuts in their lunch. But older grades, it’s understood that it’s fine.
My daughter is in year one; She has recently had to go gluten-free. It’s only a few weeks old for her – but already she is checking, “Can I have that? Does it have wheat in it?” if she’s unsure, we say, Don’t eat it. She is learning to look after herself, and learning quickly. her intolerance is not life-threatening.
A little boy I know has an extreme anaphylactic dairy allergy. He is 4.
He understands and checks everything. So does his 5-yr-old brother on his behalf.
THAT is what will keep that child safe – he KNOWS what he can and can’t eat; and if in doubt, he abstains.
PC, gone mad, I say! Let them eat peanutbutter sarnies!
.-= Simone´s last blog ..The Big Fat Monster =-.
I am totally flabbergasted. I was going to post on this tomorrow. My 3 boys have a serious nut allergy, and it is serious with a capitol S.
People don’t know what life like this is like. I was going to do a typical day for us.
In the hopes that it’ll enlighten some people that if they were in our shoes, they’d see why empathy and education are key. Nuts exist, they do, we are fine with a nut free lunch table in the school. My kids know, they have known since they could speak.
As always, why are we on the same wavelength?
Congrats on mamapedia! You totally fit in there.
Ok, I’m sorry but I disagree. Some allergies like peanut allergies are more serious than others. And since it can be airborne the child could get a reaction from being with other kids who have nuts. Granted, later in life they may not be able to have all nuts away from them, but at least in school, it would be nice for them to be safe. Even if it’s not convenient for other parents. That’s why when I mention to the airline that I have a peanut allergy, they freak. This means they have to either have a peanut free plane or seriously clean the one they have. (Their policy, not mine.) I just tell them at least not serve the peanuts on the plane. Since I’m stuck in the same airspace as these people. I hear people whine. It’s not like I can do anything about it. Most people just don’t get it. Anaphylaxis is not something to mess with. And if you could prevent it, why wouldn’t you? It’s not a matter of not letting it affect the other children. Because just smelling the peanut or peanut butter can cause a reaction. This is serious. Now, I say all of this, because I wish people would get the seriousness. But I know that most people will NEVER get it. And usually that’s fine. You can usually stay away from other people who are eating the foods you are allergic to. I was sitting in a meeting once when someone was snacking on peanut butter with apples and had a reaction. Just sitting next to her smelling it. It’s not about the world revolving around those children. It’s about protecting their lives. It’s not like they are being forced to eat something that they are allergic to. Just the particles in the air from the kid in the other class eating it can cause a reaction. I hate to think about these kids having to sit in a separate room to be safe, but I guess that’s the safest option sometimes. Especially since this type of allergy is one that has a worse and worse reaction each time you are exposed to it.
.-= Traci´s last blog ..10 on Tuesday =-.
As peanut butter lovers, we’re hopeful that mankind can come to a compromise where we’ll still be able to have our PB & J out in public. I feel very sorry for those that are allergic, but as you pointed out, avoiding things that can kill you is a life skill.
.-= Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds´s last blog ..Look at what he got himself for his birthday! =-.
I have a 16 year old who was just developed food allergies this year. I always thought those demanding parents were crazy but I realize now that I might have been hovering and demanding too. I hope not, but I might have.
I do think we need to find a way to accommodate both groups. If three of my kids hadn’t been allowed to take PB sandwiches every day all of their school lives, I’m not sure what in the world they would have eaten.
Great post.
.-= debbie´s last blog ..The Companies We Keep =-.
I think demanding entire schools to be nut-free is ridiculous for the same reasons that have already been posted.
However, I have a friend whose son is severely allergic and is prone to seizures. His 4th grade teacher was giving out cookies to celebrate something. She handed him a peanut butter cookie and moved on. He had been taught to never eat anything that seemed suspicious or didn’t come w/ an ingredients list, so promptly dropped it. But that didn’t stop him from going into anaphylactic shock and needing the epi pen.
Moral of the story: People are idiots. Even those who should know better. So if it were my kid, I’d be more tolerant of ham and cheese rather than pb and j.
My children attend an elementary school that has been Nut free for a couple of years now. Quite frankly, I find your post a breath of fresh air! Thank you for being so level headed – to go as far as to actually teach your child to read ingredients?? unheard of! There is one child in our school with a nut allergy. The funny part is – the parents/grandparents demanded that the school be nut free – after having sent the child to an in-home daycare where they refused to ban nuts. Great post – I’m stopping by from the 31DBBB challenge!
.-= Sara R-The Millennial Housewife´s last blog ..Coupon Organization System =-.
I agree completely that schools SHOULDN’T be nut free. schools aren’t grass free for kids who have multiple breathing issues due to grass allergies. I think there’s also a lot of issues with when we introduce food to children. It has been suggested that this could be one reason why there are such high numbers of food allergies. (the AAP actually just changed the age regulations on a lot of red flag foods, lowering them).
I am very lucky, my son is allergy free. I may not be so lucky.
Schools should not be nut free. While my children do not have peanut allergies, they have freinds who do. Parents have to teach, like you did and schools have to have accommodations, like nut free tables.
And yes, Southwest does serve peanuts on airplanes. My daughter and I immediately thought of her friend with the severe allergy. That’s how well trained my friend made us, as well as her son!
.-= mommymommymommy´s last blog ..Summer Assignment Number Three =-.
Visiting from SITS!
I wish the world could be NUT free! (Nutty people, that is.) The kind that think the peanut butter companies should close up shop. Because, lets face it, if you ban nuts from school Peter Pan is going to lose his fairy dust!
It must be a constant fear to have one allergic, but if it is bad enough to try and dictate what other’s kids eat, maybe they should try home schooling. I would.
Informative post and great question!
I had my eyes opened several years ago by a family with 3 members who have life-threatening peanut allergies. The oldest son, while in middle school, ended up in the hospital after a parent sent in a supply of wrapped non-peanut candies. He ate one. Turned out she had peanut dust on her hands or on the counter and it transferred to the wrapper and for him that was enough to cause a very severe reaction. His mother was a big advocate and helped the schools come up with a plan for a peanut-free table in the cafeteria. And she made sure the staff was all educated in how to help her sons if they had a reaction.
I think if more people understood the risks and personally knew someone, they might be more willing to compromise. I am not in favor of a ban, just understanding and consideration. This can be kill someone; it is not the same as doing away with religious symbols in schools or something like that.
I think you are dead on correct. Making the schools nut free isn’t going to teach the child with the allergy how to be safe. But, it’s easier for some parents to have a nut-free school than to teach their own children the lessons you are teaching. Good for you!
.-= Miel Abeille´s last blog ..Please allow me to introduce myself =-.
The schools in our region are all nut-free. The whole school, whether there is a child in the school has an allergy or not. I am not convinced that not bringing nuts to school is protecting kids because a lot of kids eat PB for breakfast instead and travel to school with it on their fingers, books, pencils…
And I am not sure why nuts are singled out as the big problem and kids with other severe allergies are not considered.
I really want to learn more about this and talk to more parents who are dealing with food allergies in my area.
Great article! Our girls are still pretty young, and thankfully do not (yet) show signs of any type of severe food allergies, so I, like Gigi, did not feel I could post about this, but I completely agree with you. I am allergic to lots of things, strawberries are the only food and I just get hives, but even grass. So as a kid, I made sure to not eat strawberries, and I had to put a blanket down on the grass when we had activities outside. Did I feel like a big nerd? Um, YEAH. But it was MY problem. They didn’t stop doing activities outside because of me, nor would I have wanted them to. Kids with any kind of difference just want to fit in. Drawing attention to it just makes it worse. Educate your kid and their caregiver, and let it go. (BTW Stumbled you from Liz’s BlogFrog!)
.-= NotJustAnotherJennifer´s last blog ..B2S-B2B Assignment 2- I Thought I Was Going to Die =-.
I completely agree with you!!
We are a artificial sweetener-free family. It isn’t the same as an allergy, but it is the rule that my daughter can not eat or drink anything with aspertame in it (the one healthy thing we do!)
When she was three years old she knew how to ask an adult if a food item contained aspertame before accepting it (people always try to give sugar free things to kids) and how to also read the label for herself.
There comes a point when kids have to be responsible for certain things themselves. Allergies are one of those things.
.-= Tracie´s last blog ..Smiles and Laughter =-.
I’m not sure where I stand on this. I have a nut allergy (I can eat peanuts but not almonds, pecans, etc) but it’s never been life-threatening. The interesting thing is that all those foods that are “processed in a factory that processes nuts” don’t bother me one bit– I can eat them all! I think THAT is overboard to ban it at school. But if my kid had a serious, life-threatening allergy where he couldn’t even be in the same room as peanuts, then I’d want the ban too.
My BIG concern though is why the heck are our kids so allergic to nuts nowadays? Must be something in our environment or how we live but it’s obviously changed from when I was a kid!
I completely agree with you! It’s nice to see for once that a mother of a child with nut allergies also thinks that this might be a tad bit over the top!