I remember it very clearly.
“Turn your head kids, don’t make eye contact, he is a hitchhiker, DON’T EVER STOP FOR ONE“.
“And, DON’T EVER even think about hitchhiking“.
My parents had us completely scared of hitchhikers. They were basically rapists looking for a victim.
To this day I have never picked up a hitchhiker nor hitchhiked myself….and don’t plan on it in my future.
I recently heard a story about a biker who was biking across town on his usual route. It was a hot sticky day and as luck would have it something happened to his tire. He was stuck there on the side of the road. It was dusk and the mosquitos were starting to bite. As he stood there waiting for his friend to pick him up (the benefit of cell phones these days), he counted the number of cars that passed him. One, two, three,…..sixty, sixty-one. Even a State Trooper. He was amazed at the number of cars that just passed him and did not ask if he needed anything. Maybe just the use of someone’s phone to make a call.
I then last night finally got a chance to watch The Blind Side. (Yes, I am VERY behind on my movie watching). As I am sure most of you have seen this movie and probably know it is about a family who is so welcoming. They bring this not-so-well-off boy into their house without question. Not even a worry as to what may happen. They just take him in, let him stay the night in their house with their children. Sad to say, I found myself saying as watching…lock the kids bedroom doors during the night AT LEAST.
That was a movie. The bike man was the real world. Are we all so afraid of all the sex offenders, rapists, and freaks out there that we have become awful inconsiderate human beings? The bike man was lucky, he had a ride coming. But, what if he didn’t? What if the situation was much worse?
We teach our kids to look away at the dangers out there. To stay clear of strangers for fear of what they could be. Are we teaching them to be inconsiderate, non-caring people in the process? How about you? Would you get involved?
For the record….I tell my kids the same thing as my parents did.
{ 31 comments }
I have only once picked up a hitchhiker. It was a rainy Christmas Eve in our suburb of Chicago. I was 18. I picked up a woman whose car wasn’t running and took her to the next gas station. It probably wasn’t smart but I’ve always felt good about helping on Christmas Eve.
I also tell my children the same thing by the way! And not to hitch hike either!
I have a fear of hitchhikers. I almost always have my kids with me when I’m driving and I’m so paranoid. Though, I admit, there have been times when I have been tempted to stop for someone- big military base around here and I sometimes see some of the marines hitching. But, I remind myself that they could easily be “the bad guy” too…and I can’t risk my kids.
But, at the same time, there have been times when I’ve been driving and my cell has gone dead and I worry about what would happen if we would break down. Maybe people would stop for a minivan?
That’s a hard one. I remember the movie “The Hitcher” and it scared the sh** out of me. That was enough of a life lesson for me to never pick up a hitchhiker. However, I have been the person deserted on the highway when her car ran out of gas and waited for someone to stop so we could call for help (back before everyone and their pony carried a cell). It was really frustrating, but I understood why no one would stop!
.-= Sara R-The Millennial Housewife´s last blog ..Coupon Organization System =-.
i live in an area when people don’t hitchhike and i’ve never seen it.
when i was just on vacation my father in maine my father pointed one out to me and my exact words were i’ve never seen that before, but i guess that comes from living where i do (i live right outside NYC)
i think sadly, the risks outweigh the potential reward of helping someone. Never, ever in a million years.
But it does make you wonder if, when you pass by a hitchhiker or someone begging for $ at a traffic light, if it will come back to bite you someday. No doubt.
.-= gigi´s last blog ..Friday Flip-Offs- 8-13 Edition =-.
Glad to have found your blog (or vice versa)!! As a psychologist I worry about lack of empathy for sure but I also wonder if we’re setting up our kids to miss out on self-sufficiency and confidence, the attributes that prevent people from becoming victims.
.-= Polly Palumbo´s last blog ..Momma Data Takes Manhattan- BlogHer10 and Media Bistro =-.
This is a toughy. I mean, I was taught the same thing about hitchhikers and I will teach my son the same thing.
I’ve seen motorists on the side of the road and I always think, “Do they need help? Should I stop?” And I never do. I am afraid it’s all a ploy to find their next victim. It’s sad, I agree. However, there is a point where you have to look our for yourself. Unfortunately, that might mean there is a point when I’m on the side of the road and no one stops to help me. I’ll be honest…if someone did stop to help I would stay in my car and just crack with window for fear that the “good samaritan” was actually the next Ted Bundy…
Tough call. I remember being in grade school, and my mom had picked me up from school. We’re driving home, and she sees this bare-legged girl walking (it was winter time) and tsked in sympathy and said, “Should I offer that poor girl a ride?” She didn’t, probably thinking if she pulled over and asked, that poor girl would run screaming for the hills thinking my mom was some kind of creep.
If I ever stop for someone, it will very much depend on the location, the looks of the person, whether or not I have someone with me, if the place is well-populated, etc. I know – it sounds very superficial to say, “Well, this guy has 8-million tattoos and a chain from his nostril to his ear, and I don’t think I want to stop for him,” but the clean-cut guy you stop for is actually the serial killer. We just don’t know, do we?
In spite of my remarks, which make it sound like “everyone else” should stop and help someone, I am surprsed that the police – at the very least – didn’t stop to see if the bicyclist was all right.
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..Theres a Hole in the Bucket =-.
I have watched too much Criminal Minds to ever stop to help. My husband is a stopper, but he has that luxury — you know, being stronger than I am and not having 2 kids permanently attached to his legs.
Often, if I see something that makes me want to stop, I’ll call the local police and give them a heads up that someone seems to be in trouble. It’s the best I can do.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Bella in love Giveaway! =-.
I’m also a GenX mom and I’m a blogger, too. My parents always warned us about hitchikers when we were growing up. I have never picked up a stranger, but my mom did once.
We were not in the car with her, but we were living in a small, very white town, and this young black man had car trouble at sunset. My mother felt that if she did not pick him up, he would have been left on that lonely road all night. (or worse) She prayed about it and then went ahead and stopped. He was almost in tears with gratitude. She dropped him at a gas station and he never stopped thanking her for her kindness even as she drove away.
It all ended well and she probably saved that person’s life but she adamantly warned us to NEVER pick up strangers.
.-= Evelyn´s last blog ..Twitter Tips- Finding Cool Tweeps to Follow =-.
I always feel terrible for people standing by the side of the road, but I also am too afraid to stop.
Once, in college, I picked up some hitchhikers, after they told me this big, unbelievable story of how they got left at the mall by either their uncle or their brother or their cousin.
I think they were probably lying, but I was with a friend, and we drove them home. I was terrified the entire time, though, and I didn’t feel good about helping people as much as I was just scared.
One time, I was less than a mile from home in t he middle of the night, and my car just stopped working at a gas station. A bunch of people my age asked if they could help, and I asked if they would give me a ride to my house. I was not at all scared then, but I knew the risks I was taking.
I probably wouldn’t do either thing ever again, unless there were extreme, EXTREME circumstances.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..The One With the Threesomes =-.
I too am a GenX mom and I too was regaled with stories about the dangers of hitchhiking/picking up hitchhikers. My mom had a story for every occasion, but the one about the person she knew who made the mistake of hitchhiking (had to escape the car after being abducted) and the person who picked up hitchhiker (was threatened with knife) were enough to keep me from EVER doing either.
.-= JenniferfromLaJolla´s last blog ..Who Did it Best =-.
I’m a nurse, and ALWAYS stop if it looks like someone needs help, even if I’m by myself and it’s night. And I’ve taught my children to be compassionate, helpful, and respectful of others – including strangers. That’s how it WAS until a couple of months ago. My 18-year-old son was carjacked in the Target parking lot within walking distance of our home. Nice part of town, broad daylight. Middle aged, overweight woman comes up to him as he’s sitting in his car, getting ready to pull out of a parking space, jumps in his car and demands to be taken to the nearest ATM and that he withdraw money and give it to her. He’s fine, minimal financial loss, car’s OK. But if the same thing were to happen tomorrow every member of my family would know to ignore her and pull out of the space quickly, and if she tried to get in the car scream, “Get out of my car, Bitch!” as loudly as possible. I now keep a small baseball bat in the backseat of my car. Pick up a hitchhiker? NO FREAKIN’ WAY. How’s that for a turnaround?
.-= AngieB´s last blog ..Blue Eyes Writers Workshop =-.
I know, it is sad but…I’m still on the better safe than sorry end of the spectrum. You just never know. I would certainly call from my cell phone if I thought someone needed help but I don’t think I would stop. Unfortunately, I tend to judge by gender..would not stop for a male but I have stopped for a young girl once who had a broken down car.
.-= Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last blog ..The End of Summer Blues =-.
I so rarely see hitchhikers anymore; such a thing of the past. The other day my husband and I got separated on our bikes and I had to ask to borrow a cell phone from a stranger. I am glad he was willing to let me. I think there should be some reasonable balance but don’t know what it is. Stopped by from LBS.
You know, I have to fall in the camp of ‘you can’t be too careful.” In the situation you describe, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have done anything either. Conversely, if I saw someone in physical distress, I would probably call 911 from my cell phone, but would not get out of the car. But very interesting topic you raise.
Visiting from LBS, have a great day!
Last week, there was a Dateline special about a similar topic. People fallen over on the sidewalk, and no one stopped to help or call for help. Being safe is important, but has being courteous gone out of style?
Visiting from LBS tea social! Have a great day!!
.-= Miel Abeille´s last blog ..Please allow me to introduce myself =-.
Thanks for stopping by my blog, and for the comments. (It is nice living in Fla., but that was the only mini-vacation we got this year…the teenagers have WAY too much planned for the summers these days!)
I have never, ever stopped for a hitchhiker either. I feel badly about it sometimes, but I’m just too scared.
And I thought the same thing about The Blind Side – wonderful, generous people – but what a risk! We have some friends who are just like that. They have taken in several down on their luck families or people and invited them into their home, tried to find them a job, etc. And they had young children!! I was just astounded.
Maybe I am not generous enough, or too cautious – but I could never take a chance like that with my family!!
.-= Lisa in Florida´s last blog ..Panzanella- a fish story- and kids who think they can dance =-.
I’d never pick up a hitch-hiker. As a single female there is no way I would pick up a stranger. As a female with a young child in the car there is certainly no way I’d pick up a stranger. I’m not very trusting on things like that. And would think to safety first. I will teach my kids the same.
But I don’t think that makes me inconsiderate or uncaring. I have stopped when it is obvious there is a first aid issue; I volunteer my time for things; I give to charity; I am a nice person and considerate of the feelings of others when there aren’t safety issues to factor in and will raise my kids to be that way too.
Yes, it’s sad that we live in a world where many of us don’t feel it’s safe to pick up a stranger on the side of the road, but that’s the reality of life. I’m not prepared to risk my safety – or that of my kids – to help someone who is obviously not in a life-threatening situation when there is a chance – however small – that doing so puts me and mine in one.
Stopping by from Lady Bloggers!
.-= Mommycrat´s last blog ..Girls Night In =-.
unfortunately, i do feel we have to teach our kids that.
your post made me think about legalities, too. isn’t there some law that requires docs to help out if there is a situation in a public setting where someone requires medical help? because our society has gone so far the other way and are not acting as good samaritans or are worried about some impending lawsuit.
.-= liz´s last blog ..Our Little Wolverine- Redux =-.
When I was pregnant with my son I was driving home from work (as a wedding photographer) during a severe storm and I lost control of my car. Spun it off the highway and down into a ditch, which was quickly filling with rain water. Thank God for cell phones, I immediately called for help. While waiting I had 9 people stop to help me. It was a Saturday, very late, very dark and raining. These people had no idea I was a pregnant lady and harmless. They just saw car lights pointing in wrong direction and figured someone was in trouble. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated all their offers of help.
As for The Blind Side, I have to say that when we watched it I turned to my husband and said the same exact thing as you. Lock the kids doors or something, how do they know he was harmless. In the end I felt bad that I would not have been so open in the beginning as that family was.
.-= Letters From Home´s last blog ..Gone To The Dogs =-.
I think about this ALL the time. Seriously. Excellent post. Stopping by from LBS Tea Party. You have a new follower!
.-= Nicole Abdou´s last blog ..The Ugly Truth =-.
I’m glad someone else has thought of the same thing. I would never, ever pick up a hitchhiker. Sadly, there are too many people in the world who prey on tiny girls like me.
.-= Sara @ Tedious Life´s last blog ..Friday Flip-Offs 8-13- Pull up your pants! =-.
Yes, I feel the same way about hich hikers and it’s no wonder…everyday you hear another horrible, awful story on the news. However, in the middle of the day with a poor bike rider sitting on the side of the road, I’d like to think that I’d stop and offer my cell phone. But the fact that a state trooper did not stop makes me sick! What about ‘protect and serve’ pretty sure that man needed protecting and serving at that point!
.-= Tutus and Tantrumns´s last blog ..Video- Coming up on Tutus and Tantrumns =-.
Unfortunately, I think the risks outweigh the rewards and that we do have to teach our children NOT to stop to help. If there’s concern, they can call the police and let them know, which is still helping, but you never know what you are walking into in a situation like this one.
Sad but true.
Stopping by from LBS to say hello
I tweet with you occasionally so it’s nice to visit!
.-= Natalie´s last blog ..Saturday Stuff 6 =-.
This subject always makes me feel very hyprocritical of myself. I always tell people to never pick up a hitchhiker, I would never hitchhike, and in general I am scared of hitchhikers. I don’t think that I could ever pick up a hitchhiker either, although at times I see people walking and I feel emensely sorry for them, and part of me wants to stop and help them.
However, I am so greatful to all those individuals out there that do help hitchhikers, and strangers. My father is a struggling alcoholic, some time’s he’s sober, other times not. He gets himself into sad situations, and he lives several hours away. Many times he’s hungry, no place to stay, no money, detoxing, and generally in a bad way. I can’t tell you how many times strangers have picked him up from the side of the road, taken him home, and taken care of him. Or just stopped and given him a lift to here or there.
Oy’ it’s such a tough thing for me, because I want to help, but with all the crazies in the world, it just wouldn’t be safe!
.-= Mama P´s last blog ..Blogboycottday =-.
Dalia, this is so tough. I have taught my children to avoid strangers. On the other hand, I did pick up a teenage girl on the side of the road and warned her about hitchhiking.
Of course, I was alone.
Stopping by from Lady Bloggers Social Tea Party. Great topic, very thought provoking. I have never stopped for a hitch hiker either and I don’t think I ever would. I’d just be too scared, I also grew up on all the horror stories of the bad things that happen when you stop for hitch hikers. These days, I’m often driving around with my son in the car and I just can’t take that risk with him.
.-= Liz @ Mommy Maddness´s last blog ..Morning Routines =-.
That’s definitely a tough question. I have a fear of hitchhikers, as well. Probably from my mother, my father would occasionally ‘help someone out,’ as he put it. It was a different time & there were often little spots for people waiting for rides. We were lucky & the people were always grateful, but the safety issue was real. I’ve had people stop to help me, when I’ve had car problems. I’m glad for the help, but I wonder about my own safety. It’s a difficult question…
Stopping by to say hi & thank you for visiting my blog a while back!
.-= Shelley´s last blog ..Weekly Assignment- The craziest reason I ever got in trouble as a child =-.
Sadly, our world has become such a place that we must ALWAYS consider who we might want to help. I picked up a hitch-hiker once in the county that I was living at the time – a beach community. I was nervous, but glad to have helped him. I saw a woman walking with groceries yesterday that I wished I could’ve gone back and given a ride (was on way to appt)…. my thought was: she might be just as scared to TAKE the ride. Tough call in today’s world….
As long as there’s a child in my life to protect and care for you will not find me helping strangers along the road. You just won’t.
I will help little old ladies and people I deem to be harmless. I think seeing me get a box of cereal off of the top shelf for a 4′ tall elderly woman will teach her to be caring enough. We don’t need to put our lives in danger.
.-= Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds´s last blog ..She says yes- he says no =-.