Its that time of year. The time of year when the teacher assignments and schedules arrive in our mailboxes. Kids can’t wait. But wait, what if little Susie or Johnny didn’t get who they wanted. Or, god forbid got “the mean teacher“.
Parents all over are stressing out. Their child did not get put in the class they wanted them in, or the class their child wanted. Or maybe they just don’t have enough friends in their class.
The Monday after the assignments arrived in mailboxes the phones in the schools are ringing off the hooks. Some parents even “marching” as one put it, to the school to demand a change.
Seriously! Get a grip people.
Have faith in the school. Do you really think the school would hire someone and keep someone who is truly a mean teacher? Not to mention what really defines a mean teacher? I personally think a mean teacher to one is not a mean teacher to another. We are all different. Kids are all different. Let them figure it out for themselves, not base their impressions on rumor.
One year my daughter was assigned to a teacher that I had never heard of. Word in my neighborhood was this teacher was very strict and not at all appropriate for my daughter’s personality. Guess what, it was the best year my daughter had. She loved her teacher. That was when I realized that we cannot take the recommendations from others about teachers. They all have their own qualities and will work their magic with our kids no matter who they are.
Parents…we can’t control our kid’s lives. Not even in grade school. They need to experience it all. All types of people and personalities. Some may not be perfect, but these are people. This is the beginning of their reality of people. It is time for them to learn how to deal with different types of people. We can’t change and fix everything for them.
These kids are in for a big dose of reality one day when Mommy and Daddy are not there to fix it all.
Do you know parents like this?
Have you ever been surprised to find your child’s teacher not at all what you expected?
{ 16 comments }
I know parents like this – and wish they’d stuff a sock in it. Yes, there are teachers and students who have personality conflicts – BUT. My parents never insisted on a classroom change for us kids, you just put up and shut up – and learned how to deal! This is a skill that needs to be learned, too – “how to deal” – and kids today aren’t getting it because mom and dad interfere far too often.
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..A Perfect Summer =-.
LOL – I can only imagine what parents said about me when I was teaching
Yes, I do know parents like that and have since I was a child and now as a parent. Each child is different and will have unique experiences with a teacher. That being said after what happened to my son in PreK I will go with my gut instinct. When he cried for days and had nightmares I knew something was wrong. I went to observe his class and was in horror with what I saw. It floored me that his teacher actually behaved in the manner she did with ME in the room. My husband and I removed him from the school immediately. To this day (3 years later) he still has nightmares and I have no idea what other things happened in that classroom.
.-= Beth @ TheAngelForever´s last blog ..Memories at Mimi’s =-.
We’ve only just started, so I haven’t had to deal with this yet. But, I’ve heard about it through family and friends. I really like your perspective and how you handle it. It’s so true, you cannot rely on what you “hear”. Kids and parents need to realize that we can’t always pick and choose who we work with and must adjust. Most of the time, I think it turns out just fine. Our school has a mandatory 2 week adjustment period before parents can even request a change.
.-= Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last blog ..What My Kindergartner Wants to Know =-.
I know parents like this. I even know one Mom who had her son’s bus stop moved because how dare that bus driver expect her child to sit down and behave on the bus ride? What a bitch of a bus driver!
My Step Son just started 6th grade and already doesn’t like his science teacher, because she is mean. We met her at orientation and she seemed nice, but no nonsense, and the kind of teacher who doesn’t treat a 6th grader like they are a 2nd grader. He couldn’t tell me why he didn’t like her, until last night…”Look how mean she is! Look at all this homework she gave me, and it’s the first assignment!” First off, school started last Wednesday, so he didn’t get any homework until the 5th day of school… seems pretty nice to me. And it was a 5 minute ditto that had 8 questions on it. My SS is in for a rude awakening, if he thinks that is what mean is.
Yes, and I just roll my eyes at them. Like you said, even kids have to be exposed to the “not so great” people in life because they need to learn how to deal with them.
That, and often times there is sooo much gossip in situations like this that you don’t even really know the truth about the targeted teacher.
.-= liz´s last blog ..Sending Out an SOS =-.
One of the mom’s in my neighborhood requested a change this year. It was a big to-do because two of the older girls had the same teacher and did fine.
I had the “mean” teacher for both fourth and fifth grade. My mom refused to switch me as lots of other kids did. The worst thing was that all of my friends were in the other teacher’s class. I did fine academically and some might even submit that I’m not emotionally scarred.
.-= Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds´s last blog ..Just getting started =-.
Unless there is something terribly wrong, as in Beth’s case, I agree that kids need to toughen up a little bit. Kids seem so sheltered these days that they do not have experiences that allow them to make decisions and grow outside of a sheltered environment. At a young age I was given lots of freedom (even though my parents were strict) and had to problem solve on regular basis. My parents use to always say listen to the teacher…if she says 2 + 2= 6 write it down and don’t argue:) Now I have to say that I have contacted a teacher or two over the past 13 years, but try not to interfere with the teacher choosing process.
.-= ZippyChix4´s last blog ..Baby Blues or Cheers for Children =-.
I am probably that mom. And I know I need to chillax. I really do know it. I’m working on it. Please peeps don’t tell me how I’m damaging my child or smothering them, etc. For what it’s worth, I’m sure my complaints are falling on deaf ears up there at the school, but I feel better knowing that I’ve at least spoken up, even if the school chooses not to do anything about it.
I’m okay being told, “Thank you for your input. I’ll think about it but we’re not making any changes.” I just don’t want the school to expect me to roll over and take whatever they dish out. It is a PUBLIC school so I feel that I, as a taxpayer, am allowed my say – so long as I do so respectfully and follow their rules (making appointments, appropriate tone, etc.)
I’m okay with teachers who are strict. I am NOT okay with teachers who favor one student over another. I am NOT okay with teachers who yell. I am NOT okay with teachers who make a student feel embarassed. And before anyone says that teachers don’t do those things, YES THEY DO. Not all of them, not even most of them. But any teacher who has tenure but does not treat children well, is a teacher I don’t want to educate my child.
I know, I know, you wouldn’t want me as the parent in your room. But my most important job is being an advocate for my child. Sometimes that means allowing the school to be the boss. But sometimes I have to be the boss too.
.-= Texan Mama´s last blog ..Do as I say- Not as I Do =-.
I’m not a mom but I remember first grade very well because my teacher was so mean… all the screaming, we were only SIX years old! She was the only teacher my mom truly HATED and sometimes she came to the school in the morning to defend me.
I remember other ‘mean teachers’ but now I realize that they were just strict but had our best interests at heart. I’m glad my mom made me suck it up.
I actually knew parents who went to the school to move their MIDDLE SCHOOL student into new classes before when there was really no problem with the teachers the kid orginally had.
.-= Sara @ Tedious Life´s last blog ..Me Learn Social Networking =-.
yes, I am one of the moms who obsesses over getting a good teacher and I do a lot of homework on it.
But: I would never complain to the principal about a teacher who was competent and/or strict and/or challenging of the kids (I prefer all of those things).
What I would complain about are teachers who are totally disengaged. I came very close to doing so last year when my son was in first grade. The teacher was completely vacant and, when I asked her during a conference how she thought my kid was doing in math, she replied: “I don’t know. How do YOU think he’s doing?”
That? I’m going to do everything in my power to avoid for subsequent school years. I can handle any kind of personality type in a teacher except the kind that doesn’t really want to do her job!
.-= gigi´s last blog ..Gigi’s Easy Enchiladas with Simple Salsa and Chile Con Queso =-.
My son is only in preschool and I’m teaching him at home along with the other kids in my home preschool.
So no I haven’t run into this but I do remember when I was in the 2nd grade and I got a teacher that I knew nothing about and I wanted out before I even got in.
She ended up being a wonderful lady and I have many wonderful memories of her class. She even went out of her way to make me feel special when I came back to class after being sick for a couple of weeks.
.-= Stacy´s last blog ..7 Life Lessons I Would Like to Tell My Younger Self =-.
This is a tough one for me. My son had a teacher who did not work for him (or much of the rest of the class) last year and he started to sour on school. This is a kid who should like school; he’s a strong student and a nice guy. But by the end of the year, he begged not to go.
We ended up switching to a private school so that we could turn things around and have some more accountability. We feel very lucky that this was an option for us.
It’s only been eight days, but when I volunteered (to lead the third grade class blog project) this afternoon, I was so thrilled to see him smiling. There are only 13 kids in the class, and it the atmosphere feels so much better.
So I get the point about micromanaging, but I also think there are times when parents do sense that something weird is happening. If that’s the case, I think “going with your gut” is a good strategy.
.-= Hollee Temple´s last blog ..The Older I Get- The Less Stressed I Feel =-.
I had the mean teacher when I was in seventh grade for English class. She was very mean. But you know what? She turned out to be my favorite of all time. Seriously. I love her to this very day.
Having been a high school teacher for 17 years, I hate to admit there are some mean teachers. By mean teachers, I’m referring to teachers who shouldn’t be; teachers who dislike students; teachers who are there because they think it’s an easy paycheck. (I’m only speaking from my experience as a teacher on the high school level;. I suspect elementary school teachers HAVE to love kids or they would last! ) I recall one teacher saying in the faculty room on the FIRST day of school, “They can take this job and shove it!” I was shocked. I responded, “I can understand how you might begin to feel that way in June, but if you’re feeling that way on the first day of school, maybe this isn’t the career for you.” She apparently listened to what I said, because a few months later she left teaching to go to work for the phone company. I’m sure her students were grateful!
I just stopped by from SITs to say hi; hope you will do the same!
.-= Eva Gallant´s last blog ..The Second Half of 84 =-.
I had a mean teacher in 5th grade. She was awful. She just didn’t want me to succed. I remember it well, She’d say, “you may fool others, but you don’t fool me. I know you cheated.”
Thing is, I never cheated. SHe just didn’t like me. I wish I would’ve told my mother, but I never did. It was highly stressful.
Love the topics you choose. You must be wonderful at cocktail parties!!! Such the conversationalist you are!!
My parents never demanded a schedule change for any of us (five) kids. The teacher on the schedule is who we had for the year, and that was it. I don’t think it ever occurred to them that they could request a change.
In 6th grade, I got a teacher who was a bit of an ignoramus. When the counselor came in one morning and asked for volunteers to transfer to self-contained class (vs. the change classes for each topic taught) I was the first to raise my hand, and was ever so grateful he selected me. All I did that evening over dinner was let my parents know that I’d been moved to a different teacher. Nobody even raised an eyebrow.
Yes, there are teachers out there who should never have been allowed to set foot in a classroom. If the teacher is “tough” vs. “should have been anything but a teacher” types, then quit griping. Your child will, in the long run, be far better off with a ‘tough’ teacher. Though I will say that some kids are kind of fragile, and don’t really bloom underneath the tough, drill-sergeant style methods. If your child is wilting, and hating school because of teacher, then – maybe there needs to be a change.
Kathy´s last [type] ..Miscellaneous Monday