Bullying is everywhere. A very well-known and highly publicized problem these days. Bullying has been around forever. So, why does it seem so much worse now? Sometimes I wonder if things really are getting worse, if the world is just a mess, or if we are just perceiving things to be worse. However, when it comes to bullying I do believe that the problem is now worse because of things like the internet, technology, social networking, you name it. Today bullies have many more ways to be cruel. Harassing and tormenting is a piece of cake. And, much easier because the bully doesn’t have to look face-to-face with the one they are bullying. Phones and internet make it that much easier. That much more extreme.
When I lay in bed at night and think about this world our kids live in today I am in disbelief. We have so many things. So many good things, but then so many bad things. Why do the good have to have bad too?
It makes me sick to my stomach to think that kids can treat others the way they do. How can they really torment another child to the point of suicide? What is going on in their heads to make them do something of that nature?
So, I have decided to join a team of parents, teachers, faculty and students at my children’s middle school. The team has been put together to combat bullying. I firmly believe that people must get involved, so that is what I am doing. I am glad to have this opportunity to do something for my kids and the kids in our community.
So now, the plan. We need to brainstorm and come up with a plan to tackle one of the biggest issues kids are dealing with in today’s society, and do it the right way. But, what is the right way?
The feeling is that we empower kids. We basically put power in the hands of the kids. We show all of the kids that these kids are what they should follow. The powerful kids.
This concept was recently demonstrated on Dateline in an episode called Perils of Parenting. If you missed it, it is a must see. The show demonstrated how once a child speaks up against a bully, others may follow.
Our task is big. We need to come up with a way to empower our kids. This is not always an easy job. Some kids are not as ‘empowerable’. Personalities are different.
Some wonder if this will have an opposite effect and single out the ‘powerful’ and put them on a pedestal.
What do you think? Do you believe in teaching empowerment in schools? Do you believe in putting these athletic stars and well-known kids on posters against bullying and making them a role model? Do you think it may backfire? What are your thoughts?
{ 17 comments }
I thought my girls, since they were in 1sr grade, that no one is allowed to hurt them. Last year, for the first time, my oldest daughter came across a girl who wanted to fight her. She told the girl plainly, I don’t want to fight you, I don’t even know you, and if you don’t get out of my way, I’m going to the dean. It ended right there. Thank goodness there haven’t been any other incidents.
I’ve always feared them coming across bullies, especially living in the bronx, so I always ask about it. Are there bullies in your school? Have you seen other kids get bullied? The answer has always been no. They’ll tell me about kids getting into fights for what they think are stupid reasons, but they haven’t had the problem yet even though one’s in 7th grade and one just started high school.
I guess I got very lucky.
.-= Vanita´s last blog ..In Support of my favorite Reads =-.
One potential resource for you is “The Everything Parents Guide to Bullies” book.
I do think that showing/teaching/encouraging kid to have confidence in themselves can help empower them. Even kids with good self-esteem will face bullies at some point in their lives. Nothing wrong with encouraging anti-bullying with the help of pop culture and athletes/etc. as role models.
Our perception of bullying has certainly changed over the last few decades. I think it has always been a problem, but now it’s all right to say something about it rather than being perceived as a “wimp” or a “crybaby.” Internet, etc. certainly opens new avenues for bullies to pursue – instant results, rather than the slow crawl of a verbal or written on notebook paper rumor.
Good luck to you in this program. Please – keep us posted on what you’re doing, and the impact it is having?
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..November 15- National Holiday- and Other Musings =-.
What I’ve seen a lot of is the kid who is doing the bullying usually is one whose folks refuse to see that Little Johnny is doing something wrong. So, he continues to bully without consequence because you can’t get his parents to discipline him in any way for his actions.
I’ve also seen kids get accused of bullying and harassment (a 4th grader) for telling another child that he runs faster. That is a lack of common sense on the part of the parents – again – for taking it to the school, instead of teaching their child how to deal. So, what if someone says that they are faster than you? Why are we crippling our children like this?
I think that kids DO need more role models and someone they can go to when there are problems.
.-= Sara R-The Millennial Housewife´s last blog ..Back to Blogging- The First Post I Ever Wrote =-.
I wrote about this a while ago- the things that I did when I was a teacher t try to stop it- but why nothing really worked to stop it. It is so frustrating.
I agree that schools need to do something, but the true solution to this problem is in the individual homes. Parental involvement from all sides will curb bullying. Since we’ll never get that, this program is worth a shot.
.-= Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds´s last blog ..Kindergarten accommodations =-.
Kids bully for a number of reasons and I do agree with pp that a lot of the bullying may have to do with the parents.
I’m at a loss as to what I will say to my kids when they start school. “Tell Mom and Dad.” but then I don’t want them to feel that we will fight their fights for them ya know. I hope I have a good answer when the time comes. For now I’ll listen to what other parents have done and said and hope to find something that will work for our family.
Keep us posted on your results.
Cheers!
J.
.-= J is a Bird´s last blog ..This I Believe =-.
Bullying is a serious issue and I’m glad to see that it’s been getting a lot of media attention in the last few years. But it’s beyond tragic that it keeps taking children committing suicide for it get the attention that it deserves.
One problem with bullying is that many kids who are being bullied are afraid to say anything to adults because they get labeled as tattletales and worse. Which often makes the bullying intensify.
The schools definitely need to do something about the widespread problem. There needs to be strong consequences (such as expelling the child if the problem isn’t resolved in a quick enough time). Kids continue to bully because they are allowed to get away with it. I’ve heard too many stories of school officials looking the other way when bullying occurs. Look at the real world, people who act like that in the work place are not generally tolerated, they usually get fired. Why is it tolerated with kids so often?
I think programs like you are getting involved in are a good idea. Education is good because a lot of times kids aren’t even aware that what they are doing is bullying, they just think they’re being funny. This seems especially true for girls who are verbal bullies, they think that because nobody ends up with a bruise they aren’t doing anything wrong. Also educating those being bullied is good too because they need to know what they can do.
.-= Stacy´s last blog ..How to Create Affirmations for Success! =-.
Great idea to start a program at school and starting with Middle School. I saw that Dateline and it was an eye opener. I like the idea of empowerment and teaching those kids to stand up to bullies. It seems if you can get one to stand up, more will follow and so forth. Parental involvement is huge. I think it’s a great idea to teach all kids about bullying and how to intervene if necessary. I also think schools should have a no tolerance policy and that kids should feel comfortable letting school administrators know when something is going on. I don’t think that is tattling. Not in this day and age when bullying can be so destructive. Good job Dalia!
.-= Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom)´s last blog ..Back to School IllnessesPlease Dont Spread the Lovebugs =-.
I feel very passionate about this issue too, and I agree that bullying has gotten worse because of the internet, Facebook, etc. I think it’s wonderful that you’ve joined a group to combat it in your school system. I can’t say whether the posters of someone popular saying no to bullying will work, but I know that teaching kids self-confidence can help students stand up to bullies. I also think strict punishments should be enforced in school…including detension, even expulsion to teach these students an important lesson. Good luck with your endeavor!
.-= Annette´s last blog ..Confidence =-.
I think bullying is a huge problem! Some of the stories you see on the news are one of the many reasons why we decided to homeschool. not the only reason, but one of them. I think it’s awesome you and other parents are doing something about positive in your school to combat the problem.
WAY TO GO!!
.-= adrienne´s last blog ..Saving Big w- Mama Kat =-.
It is such a huge problem. I think the biggest contributing factor is that they learn this behavior at home and teachers are left trying to educate and teach morals. Such a crisis.
.-= debbie´s last blog ..Weird Kids =-.
I am so glad you are standing up and doing something about this! I was just talking about it in my carpool last week. My friend was saying that last year (3rd grade) they had a bully. The kids in the class ostracized him and the bullying stopped.
I think that is the key. The power of peers. How to make that happen everywhere? Not sure. But I think you are on to something.
.-= Daria´s last blog ..My Martha Stewart Moment… =-.
My nine year old son is being bullied by some neighborhood children. Last year at the end of the school year both boys were called into the office after the boy started something on the bus on the way home from school. This year the school put both boys in the same class. Now, the boy can get to my son during bathroom breaks and at lunch and recess. My son’s personality is changing. He is becoming reclusive and afraid of everything. We are fighting the school and kid’s parents so bad. Nothing seems to work.
Good luck with your program. I wish someone would stick up for my son at school when I can’t be with him.
.-= Letters From Home´s last blog ..Pay It Forward Fridays =-.
I am so sorry to hear this about your son. Just reading this and how his personality is changing as a result makes my blood boil…how could the school put your son in this situation? It makes me sad that you and your family have to go through this “nonsense”. It is just mind boggling that a 9 year old can be allowed to cause this type of mayhem.
My daughter had somewhat of a tough time in middle school. She knew that the people that she had been associating with were not the right people for her and as it is sometimes difficult for girls to switch groups in high school (no new kids in our high school) she chose to apply to a magnet school and got accepted. It was a lot of extra driving for me and extra work for her, but it was the right decision in her case. She is now in college and loving it!
I hope that this bullying behavior in your son’s school is squashed soon!!! Best of luck…
.-= ZippyChix´s last blog ..Kate I Gosselin…Seriously =-.
Dalia!! How awesome that you’re getting involved. My son starts kindergarten next year, and I definintely want to follow your example.
I’m pretty sure I’ve commented here about my daughter’s bully on a previous post. It was/is a long (and ongoing) ordeal. I believe that bullying is worse today than in the past. Kids are taught that they can do anything. If they get in trouble, Mommy and Daddy will bail them out. They are taught that they are better than everyone else and that there are little or no consequences for their actions. Many times teachers hands are tied, where in the past they could have punished-even paddled-the bullys.
.-= Angelia´s last blog ..That’s Right- I’m With The Hair Band =-.
I’ve never personally had to deal with bullying, nor have I ever been bullied. But last year my brother was bullied. I emailed his principal. It made me sick that the principal knew about it but did nothing. I think alot of staff don’t believe it will escalate to the point of death. But it is always all over the news. I think EVERY school should have some kind of class and/or program about this.
I wrote a post about it here: http://www.icouldbefake.com/archives/once-upon-a-time-i-did-this-for-my-brother
.-= Penny´s last blog ..What’s a Niche And do you really need one Who says so =-.
{ 2 trackbacks }